


Hard Out Here

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha Harry, Alpha Liam, Alpha Niall, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Canon Compliant, Denial, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Omega Louis, Omega Zayn, Pining, Rape Recovery, Slow Build, Zayn is a sad person
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-28
Updated: 2014-08-13
Packaged: 2018-02-06 14:37:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1861581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn's been hiding from the boys since the first day he met them on x-factor. He has a dark past and at this rate, an even darker future. Can he learn to trust the boys before it's too late?</p><p>A tale about pain and recovery and what exactly it means to be pack in this day and age.</p><p>Featuring Harry as the gentle alpha, Liam as the leader of the pack, Niall as an incredibly masculine manly man alpha and Louis as the sassy omega.</p><p>And Zayn brooding in a corner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Come on Zaynie, up and at 'em!" Shouted Louis as he dived onto Zayn's bed. "We need to be on the bus in 20." 

"Go away Louis," groaned Zayn. He pulled the blanket up over his head in attempt to block out the other boy.

"Do I need to go get Liam?" Louis asked with a smirk, knowing it would be enough of an incentive to get the Bradford boy up.

"Jesus, fine, I'm awake. Happy?"

"Very," replied Louis before leaning down and pressing a smacking kiss to Zayn's cheek. "Now get ready." With that he jumped up and bounded out of the room, probably going to bug Harry.

Zayn wiped the saliva off his face, "Ergh... gross." He stood and made his way to the door, deadbolting it so that no one could surprise him. When he was sure he was safe he walked to his pack and carefully pulled out the little orange bottle: his suppressants. He quickly swallowed down one of the little pink pills and replaced the rest in their hiding spot, ignoring the guilty feeling in the pit of his stomach. Zayn hated lying to the other boys. They knew he was an omega (the pills did little to suppress his smell) but they were unaware that he hasn't had a proper heat since before the x factor. Zayn was careful, when his heat was supposed to be happening he took a plane back to London and crashed at his flat. Before he returned he made sure to douse himself in alpha pheromones, to avoid suspicion. It was almost too easy to get away with. He supposed being rich had its perks. Regardless, if the boys ever found out they'd be devastated, not to mention furious at him for messing with something so dangerous.

Suppressants were extremely dangerous. They had been illegal for as long as they had been around. Long term use was known to cause infertility, health problems, and in the most severe cases, death. Zayn wasn't stupid, he knew he was messing with some bad shit, but the thought of having to go through another heat was unbearable. 

A loud knock at his door roused him from his thoughts. "Zayn, did you fall back asleep?" Liam called through the door.

"No, I'm coming!" Zayn quickly slipped the deadbolt out. "No worries," he said as he popped out of his room. Liam nodded, and the two of them walked down to the bus together.

\---

Sometimes Zayn got jealous. Watching Louis, Harry, Niall, and Liam's relationship always hurt a little. Zayn couldn't imagine what it must be like for Lou, having three alphas waiting on his beck and call. Of course, Zayn could have it too. He knew that if he said the word the others would eagerly mate with him. But they would have to help him through his heat, which meant he would have to have a heat, so he kept it a locked up fantasy. He convinced himself that going it alone wasn't so bad. After all, he was already pack with the boys, he didn't need to be their mate too. So he watched from afar, and feigned disinterest whenever Louis was going through a heat or one of the alphas through a rut. He had lead them all to believe that he had a mysterious alpha back in London, and they were far too respectful to try and pursue a mated omega. 

Speaking of his supposed alpha, his also supposed heat was only a few days away. They would be stopping in L. A. for the duration of it while he took a plane home.

"You alright there mate?" Asked Niall, flopping down on the couch Zayn was sitting on.

"Mhmm yeah, just thinking."

"Well then come cuddle me you are oaf," Niall said as he pulled Zayn into his lap. The boys always did this, got all alpha-y with Zayn. They claimed that it was because he must get lonely without his alpha on the road, but Zayn knew that they needed it as much as him. He would be lying if he said that they didn't all feel something missing without Zayn in their relationship.

Zayn snuggled closer and resolved not to think about it. This was for the best.

\----

The day of his plane ride arrived and Harry came with him to airport. "He's going to pick you up at the airport in London right? You can't be taking a cab. Do you have everything you need? Make sure to keep hydrated. Oh and-"

"Harry stop worrying. I'll be fine." The curly haired boy always got like this when Zayn was leaving. His alpha instincts prevented him from staying calm when one of the pack left for any length of time.

"I know, I know, just... I don't like when you're gone." Harry mumbled, ashamed of himself for being so possessive of an omega that was already mated.

Zayn smiled softly, "You'll be alright." He said, "I gotta catch this flight though so..." 

Harry pulled him into a big hug. "See you in a week."

\--

Of course, there wasn't anyone picking him up from the airport. He was able to keep his arrival on the down low, so he didn't have to deal with too many paparazzi. He hailed a taxi and made his way to his apartment. Already he could feel the emptiness pooling inside of him.

One of the many downsides of suppressants was how awful they made him feel. They didn't stop his heat, just replaced it. They made it so he couldn't produce slick, and so he didn't go crazy with need, but they left him feeling hollow. He still yearned for an alpha to care for him, and he often spent the week of his heat lying in a ball of misery. The suppressants made him very weak and sickly during his heat as well, so it was difficult for him to get food or bathe. He often came back to the band underweight and exhausted, and he was sure this time would be no different. 

The first thing he did when he got into his flat was go to the kitchen. He was going to have to try and make as much food as possible before he became to weak. He set to work, making trail mix (he had long ago learned that cooking was not a good idea when you're prone to fainting spells.) He managed to make enough to last him the week. His heart was pounding now so he gathered his food and some water bottles and started up the stairs to his room. He was just placing his foot on the top landing when his vision blacked out.

Some time later he awoke with a groan. He was lying in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the steps. A quick examination discovered that he hasn't broken any bones, but he now had some awfully nasty bruises on his back and ribs. Two of his bags of trail mix had broken open and were scattered across the floor. Groaning, he slowly stood and picked up his belongings. Again he made the trek up the stairs, thankfully making it to his room this time. He crawled into bed and prepared himself for the long wait ahead.

\---

Zayn made his way back to the airport a lot worse for wear. When he had finally attempted to shower two days prior he had slipped in the tub, falling and banging his shoulder hard. His bruises from the fall down the stairs will still fresh, and he sported a cut on his cheek from it as well. He had to use quite a bit of concealer to cover the fading red mark, as it wouldn't do for the boys to see him injured. This was probably the worst Zayn had ever been after a heat. His entire back was a mass of bruises, and just breathing hurt terribly

He sat stiffly throughout the flight. Despite being an internationally famous pop star he had never gotten used to being in a plane. He was sick twice.

When he landed he had to deal with the customs people patting him down, which only served to aggravate his wounds. Needless to say he wasn't looking so hot by the time his pack saw him.

Louis was the first to notice him, "Zayn!" he shouted, rushing over to wrap him in a beat hug. Zayn couldn't help the small yelp that escaped him. Louis pulled back in confusion, "Zayn?"

By then the alphas had reached them. Liam's face darkened, "What's the matter?" He asked, a small furrow appearing between his eyebrows.

"Nothing, just a little tense from the plane ride, that's all." Zayn said quickly. "No big deal."

No one looked very convinced but they didn't push it. "Well let's get back to the hotel," drawled Harry, guiding Zayn with a gentle hand to his back. It took all of Zayn's strength not to pull away as Harry's fingers rested on one of his worst bruises. He couldn't help himself from stiffening, and he saw his pack members exchange a worried look.

\---

The ride to the hotel was tense. Zayn attempted to act normal, even if the others wouldn't. "What have you guys been up to? Any new tattoos?" He asked.

Louis took pity on him, "Yeah Harry got a new one, show him man." He said, but the concern still lingered in his eyes.

Harry did show him his tattoo, but other than that he remained silent, plunging the van back into its awkward state. They arrived at the hotel and Zayn quickly took off to his room. "Alright lads, I'm gonna take a nap so if you co-" He didn't finish his sentence when he realized that all the boys were standing practically on top of him.

"We're coming in with you," said Niall, his voice leaving no room for debate. Liam leaned over and opened the door, gesturing for Zayn to walk in. Sighing, he did just that, bracing himself for dealing with his overprotective pack.


	2. Chapter 2

"What's up guys?" Asked Zayn, feigning nonchalance. "You're acting weird." He had learned long ago that the best defense was a good offense, if he was confrontational usually people backed off.

Unfortunately for him, Liam had also picked up on this strategy of his. "Why are you being so defensive?" He asked.

Zayn had no answer for that. He opted to stare at the wall instead.

"Zayn," Niall said, stepping forward. "What happened to your back?"

"It's no big deal, I just fell down the stairs." As soon as he said it Zayn realized his mistake. Already Harry was opening his mouth to protest and Louis' eyebrows had raised incredulously at the statement. No alpha in their right mind would let an omega walk around during their heat. Not to mention that alphas were driven to care for and coddle omegas by their very genetics, if one was taking care of him he wouldn't be nearly this bad off. Quickly he tried to justify his explanation, "It was just as I was leaving and I slipped. Don't worry about it."

Liam frowned, but began to nod. For one brief moment Zayn thought he was going to get away with it. Then, "Okay, just let us take a look to see how bad it is," said the pack leader.

Inwardly, Zayn groaned. There was no way they would accept that he had gotten his bruises from tripping down the stairs once they saw them. Already he had lied by saying they were recent, when the majority of them happened almost a week ago. They were going to think an alpha was hurting him.

"Look, I'm tired. Can you guys please just sod off? I want to sleep."

"Zayn," Niall said, a warning clear in his voice. "Take your shirt off. Now."

Zayn tried to cling to the last shreds of his dignity. "No."

Suddenly they were on him, Harry effortlessly pulling Zayn’s back flush to his chest and holding him still while Niall and Liam grabbed at his shirt. Louis just stood there and watched. There were hands everywhere and it was too much, too much, and then-

_Hands tearing at little Zayn’s shirt. Zayn who was too young, too weak, too omega to stop them. He cried and wailed as the rough fingers danced along his sides. “No, please no.”_

-with a gasp Zayn came back to the present. “Stop it,” he cried, thrashing in their grip. It was no use, his shirt was torn from his body.

“Oh my god,” murmured Harry, “Zayn.”

He knew what Harry saw. His back was littered with bruises, new and old, from the two times he fell in the past week. His spine protruded noticeably due to his weight loss. He looked awful. “Happy now?” he asked, glaring at his pack, “Are we done?”

“Zayn! How can you act like this doesn’t matter? He’s hurting you!” exclaimed Liam. “Why didn’t you tell us?” He sounded angry but Zayn could hear the hurt in his voice.

“Jesus Liam, no one hurt me! I fell down the stairs.” He rolled his eyes for good measure. Sure the bruises were a bit nasty, but he’d had worse. He hated how alphas got like this, acting like just because Zayn was omega he couldn’t take care of himself. He took a step back and tried to collect himself, looking around at his band mates. Harry looked like he had seen a ghost, his whole frame seemed small and sunken with his sadness. Liam was shifting restlessly from one foot to the other and gnawing at his lip. Zayn didn’t think he had ever seen him this upset, his puppy eyes were out in full effect. Louis was curled into Niall’s chest, sniffling. And Niall, god, Niall looked like rage personified. His biceps twitched and flexed as he held onto Louis, as if it was taking all his control not to just hulk out then and there. This was so not a good scene.

“What’s his name?” Niall asked, his voice deadly calm.

Zayn stared blankly back at him, “Whose name?”

“Stop protecting him! The alpha, Zayn! What is the fucking alpha’s name?” Niall snarled. “I’m going to rip his throat out.”

“Just drop it,” Zayn pleaded. “Please, just let it go!”

“Drop it?” Screeched Louis, “How can you say that Zayn? We’re your pack. We can’t just pretend you’re not hurt. We love you.”

“Tell us the name Zayn,” said Harry, with no room for argument in his voice. “Now.”

“We just want to help.”

“Tell us.”

“Zayn, please.”

Their voices were meshing together, and Zayn could barely think. “I can’t,” he said desperately. “Please stop.” But they didn’t. They had surrounded him, their faces blurring together in his mind, begging him. They were touching him again, and talking at him and he couldn’t think. “He’s not real!”

“What?” asked Harry, momentarily taken aback.

Zayn felt his dread building in his stomach. The boys were staring at him, confusion written on their faces. “The alpha in the city isn’t real. I made him up.” Zayn said. He refused to meet their eyes, it was too embarrassing.

“Don’t lie to us Zayn,” said Liam sharply. Zayn’s head snapped up in surprise. “You always come back reeking of your alpha.”

Like a bandaid, Zayn thought to himself. “I bought them,” he said. Louis opened his mouth to ask a question so Zayn quickly elaborated, “The pheromones. I bought them.”

Realization began to dawn on his pack mates. “You always did smell a bit chemical…” said Liam, and Zayn could see that he was beginning to accept it.

Harry was nodding, “So you really did just fall?” He asked, concern still lacing his voice. “No funny business?”

“Yes,” Zayn said, relieved. “That’s it, I swear.”

Louis looked like he was still a little suspicious, but he nodded anyway. Then Zayn turned his attention back to Niall. He was shocked to see the burning rage still present in the blond’s eyes. “Niall?” He asked, nervously.

The alpha took a few moments to compose himself. “So you mean to tell us,” began Niall, his voice tight and hurt, “that you have been going through every single heat alone?”

Oh. Zayn had forgot about that. Omegas were never supposed to go through a heat without support. While that didn’t necessarily mean an alpha fucking them, they still needed someone to care for them in their weakened state. Going it alone posed a huge risk to an omega’s health due to the risk of dehydration or injury. Zayn hadn’t even remembered how big a deal it was, he had been doing it on his own for so long. “Um…” Not his most eloquent response.

“You idiot.” Louis hissed, “Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?”

“Why would you do that to yourself?” asked Harry. “Why wouldn’t you let us help?”

“I don’t- I can’t- It’s not like that!” stuttered Zayn, “It’s not about you!”

“What do you mean?” asked Liam gently.

Zayn looked around wildly at his friends. “I hate it!” He declared, “I hate my heat, I hate being an omega, and I couldn’t have you- I couldn’t be seen like that!” His lips were curled back in disgust. “I couldn’t let you see me like that.”

“Zayn-” Louis began, but he interrupted.

“No, Louis. No. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being an omega. I’m happy for you! But I just can’t-” he broke off abruptly, horrified to realize he had started to cry.

“That’s not right.” Liam said, “Zayn, you need to talk to someone about this.”

“Just get out! Please just go!”

“But-”

“No! Just get out! Please!”

Defeated the boys walked away, disappearing one by one out the door. With his hotel room empty Zayn collapsed to the floor, sobbing.


	3. Chapter 3

After leaving the hotel room the other boys unanimously decided to go to Harry’s. They needed to talk. It broke Liam’s heart to hear Zayn crying in the other room, but there was no way the omega would accept their comfort right now. They sat together on Harry’s bed in silence for a few moments, just taking everything in. Then, Louis spoke. “He needs help. I can’t believe he feels like that about his body. It’s not normal.”

“Not to mention how dangerous it is,” chimed in Niall. “He’s been doing his heats alone. Jesus christ, we just saw what that does to his body. He always comes back looking so weak and frail. No fucking wonder! He could die if he keeps this up.”

“But what are we supposed to do?” asked Harry. “You all saw what he was like. He hates himself. He hates being an omega.”

Liam looked around slowly at the group. “No. That’s not true,” he said.

“What do you mean?” Louis asked, “He just said so himself.”

“I believe that he hates his heat, but he doesn’t hate being an omega. He’s ashamed of it. It’s not the same. He feels embarrassed about his omega behaviors.”

“What are you getting at Liam?” asked Harry.

“I think we need to reassure him. Guys, this whole time we’ve been sort of leaving him alone. We all thought he had an alpha. I mean, it’s not like we don’t care for him and cuddle him, but we’ve always been careful not to overstep our bounds. I think we need to stop that. No, Louis, I don’t mean we should have sex with him. I just think that we need to help him understand that it’s okay to be an omega. That we don’t judge him for it.”

“Well, he’s going to hate it if we just suddenly start treating him different and pretend it’s normal though,” said Niall.

“So we don’t pretend it’s normal. We let him know that we’re not just going to sit back while he hates himself!” exclaimed Liam. He looked around at the other boys, who were all nodding in agreement. “We need to help him,” he said with conviction. “We’ll start tomorrow.”

\---

Zayn woke up in the morning feeling miserable. He was still on the floor of his room, curled up in a ball. God, he was so pathetic. He slowly picked himself up, and was making his way over to his suitcase when the door opened. Liam had slipped into the room. Zayn shifted uneasily. He couldn’t believe he had broke down in front the boys. “What’s up?”

Liam just smiled at him and walked over. “I’m going to help you get ready.”

“What? Liam I don’t need help! I’m not a child.”

Liam refused to get riled up. “I know,” he said, “but I’m your pack leader and I think you could do with a little bit of care for a change. You’re always helping us out, but we forgot to think about the fact that you need help too sometimes.” He pulled the smaller boy into a hug. “So for now you’re going to be getting a little extra attention.”

Zayn squirmed uncomfortably. “I don’t need extra attention,” he mumbled.

“Yes you do,” said Liam, leaving no room for argument. “Now let’s get you washed up.”

“Liam,” whined Zayn, “You are not helping me shower.”

“We can leave our boxers on if you want, but yes, I am going to shower with you,” said Liam. “Zayn, I care about you and part of this is because of this, but I haven’t forgotten that you lied to me and the boys for years. This is also your punishment and you will go through with it whether you want to or not.”

Zayn shivered at the tone of Liam’s voice. “Fine,” he said, pulling away and marching to the bathroom. “Let’s just get this over with.” He managed to get into the bathroom fast enough that he could take his suppressant without Liam seeing. Thank god for small miracles. “Boxers are staying on,” he said firmly. Liam nodded and stripped down, before looking at Zayn to do the same.

Once they were both undressed Liam ordered Zayn to sit down while he prepared the shower. Except he walked to the jacuzzi instead. “No, nuh-uh, no way. I am not taking a bath with you Liam.”

The alpha merely arched an eyebrow in response, “You’re not making the decisions right now,” he said. Once the water was warm enough and had filled the tub he turned and looked expectantly at Zayn. With a huff the omega stood and made his way over to the bath. Liam was already in the tub and held out a hand to help the other boy in. Zayn was pulled down into the water, and to his embarrassment was positioned between Liam’s legs. His back was pressed up against Liam’s chest as the alpha began to wash him. Zayn couldn’t hold back a groan at the feeling off Liam’s hands running through his hair. He relaxed and resigned himself to enjoying this bath. Liam took his time washing his hair and body, gently running his hands across Zayn’s exposed skin. He hummed a nameless tune all the while and Zayn’s thoughts began to drift. To his annoyment he was actually really enjoying himself. The boys were never this touchy with him in the past, because they thought he had an alpha. He couldn’t believe what he had been missing out on. Liam’s hands had come to rest on Zayn’s stomach, and were absentmindedly stroking up and down his skin. Zayn’s eyes fluttered closed and he felt his body loosen further. He was so comfortable and content and-

His eyes snapped open. He was producing slick. Not a lot, at least not yet, but still. He looked down and realized that he was sporting a semi. “Bath time’s over!” he yelped, all but jumping out of Liam’s arms. He grabbed a towel and ran out of the room, face hot with embarrassment.

In the bath Liam smiled to himself. Of course he had been aware that Zayn was getting aroused. While he wouldn’t push his friend, it gave him hope that maybe one day Zayn would want to be part of their relationship. Still, the day was obviously a long way off. He slowly stood and drained the tub. Despite Zayn’s reaction, this morning had felt like progress.

\---

Zayn hurried down to the bus, they were supposed to be on the road for the majority of the day. He was still shaken by his body’s reaction to Liam. Of course Zayn had thought about all the boys like that before, but he knew that the prospect of mating with them was completely impossible. He could not handle another heat, and the boys would never accept it if they found out he was on suppressants. He headed straight for the bunk area on the bus and hopped into his bed, pulling the privacy curtain closed. 

Unfortunately, his privacy didn’t last long. Louis came in about five minutes later and hopped up into his bunk. “Piss off, Lou. I’m trying to sleep.” He said, hoping his friend would just leave him alone. 

“Have you ever been with an alpha during your heat Zayn?” asked Louis, completely ignoring Zayn’s request. “It’s amazing.”

Zayn groaned. Of course Louis wouldn’t be able to drop the fact that Zayn had said he hated his heat. What he couldn’t tell his friend was that, yes, he had in fact been with an alpha, it just wasn’t his choice. “Lou, I know you mean well, but you’re not going to change my mind. Can you just leave it?”

Louis continued to ignore him, “Zayn, I love you no matter what. We all do. But it isn’t right to hate your body so much.”

As if Zayn didn’t know that. “I don’t hate my body, I just don’t like my heat okay? It’s weird and uncomfortable.”

“Maybe something’s wrong. Have you seen a doctor?”

“What? No, I don’t-”

“I bet you that’s it! We can schedule an appointment for when we stop next,” said Louis excitedly. “We’ll get you fighting fit and then you’ll understand-”

“No! Louis I’m not going to a doctor!” Zayn exclaimed. His heart was racing, a doctor would take one look at him and know that he was on suppressants. He had already told the boys one secret, wasn’t that enough?

Louis was taken aback by the force behind Zayn’s statement. Why was he so afraid to get help. He narrowed his eyes at the Bradford boy, “Why?”

Zayn fidgeted and fiddled with his bed sheets, refusing to meet the other boy’s eyes. “Look, can you please just go? I need to sleep.” 

To his surprise Louis did get out of his bunk, but he could tell from the look on the boy’s face that this was far from over. “Sleep well Zaynie,” he said, before turning and walking back to the lounge area. Zayn groaned, praying in vain that Louis wouldn’t keep pushing this issue.

\---

Louis walked out of the bunk area to be greeted by the stares of all three of the alphas. It was clear that they had been eavesdropping. “We need to get him to see a doctor,” said Niall. “There could be something really wrong with him, not to mention he probably needs treatment for those bruises and how underweight he is.”

Liam nodded, “We’ll have to all talk to him together. It’s the only way we’ll be able to convince him. We can’t get mad at him though.”

“Okay, so next hotel stop we’ll have a pack meeting. We can talk to him about it then,” said Harry. “How did the bath with him go?”

“It was really good. He relaxed a lot, but wound up freaking out towards the end. We need to keep working at it.”

Louis smiled at his alphas, “I just want him to be happy,” he said. “It’s like he doesn’t even realize how great life can be with alphas looking out for you.” 

The boys all cooed over this and Harry tackled Louis into a hug. “We’ll help him understand, don’t worry Lou.”


	4. Chapter 4

The concert that night went well. The boys continued to pay extra attention to Zayn. During the twitter segment they read out the question, “Who’s your favorite?” and all of them said Zayn. Harry crooned the chorus of What Makes You Beautiful in the boy’s ear and Niall held his gaze throughout his whole solo in Little Things. Zayn honestly felt a bit overwhelmed, by the end of the night he thought he might cry. He felt very fragile, and it wasn’t that he was unhappy with the boys (far from it) but he just wasn’t used to his pack paying so much attention to him. The drive back to the hotel was quiet, but in a gentle and sated way. All the boys recognized that this had been a particularly good night.

Of course, what Zayn did not know and the others did was that the peace would not last long. The boys were determined to convince Zayn to go see a doctor about his heats. They knew he would be reluctant, Louis’ conversation with him had proven that, but they couldn’t bare the thought of something being wrong with their omega friend. “Let’s all go back to my room,” suggested Louis as they pulled up to the hotel. Zayn smiled and agreed to, having no idea what he was in for.

\--

In Louis’ room they piled onto his bed. Zayn wound up in the middle, naturally. This was in part because the boys wanted him to feel special, but it also meant that it would be harder for him to run away once they asked him to see a doctor. They took a few moments just to lie together and rest before Harry brought it up. “Zayn,” he said slowly, trying to make his voice as soothing as possible, “we want you to see a doctor.” The Bradford boy instantly stiffened at the proposal.

“I don’t need to,” he said quickly. 

“That’s not true, you said that your heats were uncomfortable,” pointed out Niall, “Something could be wrong.”

Zayn’s insides twisted at the thought of a doctor examining him. Of anyone touching him at all down there. It was disgusting. Even when he jerked off he kept his hands well away from his hole, it was too sick. “I just don’t like them is all,” said Zayn, “I don’t need to see a doctor. There’s nothing actually wrong with me.”

“If there’s nothing wrong then just do it for us,” said Liam. “Please, we just want to make sure.” 

“Yeah Zayn, we care about you,” Louis chimed in. “Please.”

How was he going to get out of this one? Zayn knew that continuing to refuse would only draw more attention and suspicion. He racked his brain for ideas. He suddenly remembered about doctor-patient confidentiality. God, he was stupid to forget that. He could go see a doctor and simply tell him that he was on suppressants. Then he could refuse the examination and just wait for a little bit before going back to the boys. So long as they weren’t in the room with him he’d be fine. “Okay,” he said, trying to sound resigned, “For you guys I will, but I want to go on my own.”

Niall started to argue but Louis elbowed him hard in the side. “Okay Zayn, it’s your decision. We’ll wait outside while you’re examined,” said the omega.

The boys exchanged a look. They were surprised Zayn had given in so quickly. Liam snuggled closer to him. “Thank you.” Maybe everything would be alright.

\---

Zayn shifted restlessly on his chair. The boys had refused to just drop him off at the clinic where he would be examined, insisting that they would wait in the waiting room for him. He looked over at his fellow pack, hoping they wouldn’t be able to tell how nervous he was. What if the doctor told them? He gnawed at his lip anxiously.

“Zayn Malik,” called a nurse, standing in the doorway of one of the rooms. “You can come this way.”

Shakily, he got to his feet. The boys smiled encouragingly as he walked in the small office. “I’m just going to take your weight and height dear,” said the nurse. She was a small beta with mousy brown hair. She hummed to herself as she jotted down his measurements. “Hmm, looks like you’re a bit underweight,” she said, giving him a stern look.

“Um yeah, I guess I just have a fast metabolism.” 

She didn’t look fooled but also didn’t comment. “The doctor will be in shortly. You can just sit up on the table.”

Zayn fiddled with the paper on the examining table. Maybe he could still leave, he thought to himself, but he knew it was no use. He was here now. The door clicked open.

Zayn watched as the doctor walked into the room. He was an older man, probably in his fifties. With a start Zayn realized that he was an alpha. While it wasn’t unheard of to have an alpha practice medicine, they were usually surgeons or technicians. It wasn’t common for them to have direct contact with patients. He was instantly on edge.

“Hello Zayn, I’m Dr. Learman. I hear you’ve been having some trouble with your heats. And you’ve been going through them alone?” said the doctor, his eyebrow raising at the second half of the statement. “You know that’s a very dangerous thing to do.”

Zayn felt dread pool in his stomach. If they doctor thought that was dangerous there was no way he’d be cool with Zayn’s use of suppressants.

“Well, I suppose there’s not much to do but have an examination. Get undressed and we’ll begin.” 

“Wait!” said Zayn. The doctor paused where he was getting ready. “I, um, I know what’s wrong with my heats.”

“Go on.”

“I’m… I’m on suppressants,” he said, refusing to meet the man’s eyes. 

“That is incredibly risky! Does your pack know? They’re the boys out in the lobby right?” asked Dr. Learmen.

“No!” said Zayn, “You can’t tell them!”

“Oh really now? I think they’d appreciate this piece of information.”

“But you can’t!” exclaimed Zayn hysterically, “I have confidentiality.”

“I doubt they would press charges against the man that tipped them off.” Dr Learson said smugly. “Though I suppose, I could be persuaded not to tell them.”

Zayn felt his blood boil. Of course this man would know who he was and want his money. Whatever, it was better than the alternative. “How much?”

“Oh my Zayn, I believe you’ve misunderstood. I don’t want your money,” said the doctor. Zayn stared at him, confused. “You’re such a pretty little omega.”

He felt horror swell in him at the realization of what this man wanted. “No,” he whispered. 

“No? Okay then, allow me to just call in your pack leader. Liam, wasn’t it?” Dr. Learmen started towards the office door.

“Wait!” cried Zayn. The alpha paused. “I’ll do it.”

“There’s a good boy,” crooned the man. “Bend over the table.”

Zayn did as he was told. He felt numb. How could this be happening again. He realized that he was crying quietly. He felt the man step up behind him. Grubby hands pulled at his trousers, and in one tug he was laid bare from the waist down. He put his face in his arms, hoping it would be over quickly. “Look at you, such a slut for it.” Zayn trembled as the man ran his fingers across his hole. “Just begging for some alpha cock to fill you-”

The door burst open. Zayn startled, turning to see his pack standing in the doorway. “What the fuck are you doing?” shouted Niall, his face red with rage. In the blink of an eye the irish lad was across the room and on top of the doctor. The others rushed to Zayn, where he had fallen curled up on the floor.

“Zayn, oh my god,” said Liam, pulling the sobbing boy into his arms. Harry grabbed a robe to cover him up. Louis was attempting to pull Niall off the doctor.

“Niall, Niall, stop!” shouted Louis. The doctor face was bloody and swollen impossibly large. “Let the police deal with this piece of shit.”

Niall sat back, his chest heaving. “You disgusting pig,” he said, before spitting on the man beneath him. 

The police arrived, having been called to the scene by one of the nurses. They hauled the doctor up by his arms and began to pull him from the room. Just as he was being tugged around the corner the man called out to the boys. “You sure your omega there is worth fighting for? Maybe you should ask him why he was so willing to put out for me? Better yet, maybe you should wonder why his hole reeks of suppressants!”

The boys turned to look at Zayn once more. “What’s he talking about Zayn?” asked Liam, but the boy did not reply, he only cried harder.


	5. Chapter 5

The boys carefully took Zayn out to the van, after it had been determined that he had not been injured. Liam was talking angrily into his phone, “I don’t care what it takes! We are not going on stage tonight!”

Zayn attempted to sit up from where he was cocooned in his packmates arms. “Liam, it’s okay,” he said hoarsely, “I can go on.”

He heard a deep rumble beside him and realized with a start that Harry was growling. Harry, the sweetest and gentlest alpha he knew. He couldn’t help but shrink back a little at the menacing tone. “Zayn, we’re not performing tonight.” Harry said, leaving no room for discussion. Niall pulled him a little closer.

At the hotel they formed a circle around Zayn, refusing to let any of the fans or paparazzi near him. Niall, Harry, and Louis all went with the boy to Liam’s room. “Come on babe, you can have a nice hot shower,” said Lou gently. Zayn didn’t even notice that Liam had split off from their little group. He had a little searching to do in the omega’s room.

It wasn’t that Liam didn’t trust Zayn, or that he wanted to listen to that disgusting piece of shit who called himself a doctor, but he had to be sure. As the pack leader everyone’s well being was his priority, he couldn’t sit by and ignore this.

He let himself into Zayn’s room. It had been too easy to get a key card, all he had to do was smile charmingly at the beta behind the reception desk. He began his search in the bathroom. Liam smiled lovingly at he looked at his friend’s various hair products, only Zayn would need 10 different types of shampoos. He quickly began to pick through the bottles, searching for anything unusual. He was just about to admit defeat when he picked up the last bottle of hairspray, only to hear a strange rattle. Carefully he turned the bottle over in his hands. On the bottom he could see a small latch. He felt like he had been dropped in ice water. Even though he had been in here looking for Zayn’s stash he had never truly believed he would find it. Suppressants were so dangerous, and he had trusted Zayn not to mess around with them. With trembling hands he opened the bottle, pulling out the small orange pill container. Seeing the drugs in his hand proved to be too much. With a roar he threw his fist into the mirror in front of him. How could Zayn be so stupid? He was furious, but underneath his anger was hurt. Zayn had kept this from him, from all of them. He had lied to his friends, his pack, on multiple occasions. Why hadn’t he trusted them?

He ground the pills in his hands, dumping the dust in the toilet and flushing it away. Zayn wouldn’t be taking anymore anytime soon. He felt the last of his rage drain him, leaving him exhausted. With a hitching breath he began to cry, sliding down the wall to the floor. What had become of his pack?

\---

Zayn was tucked into bed by loving hands. He fell asleep listening to his boys hum around him. 

\---

He awoke alone in bed. Groaning, he stretched his sleep tired muscles and sat up. A note sat on the bedside table:

Zayn, we’re in Niall’s room for breakfast. Come when you wake up.

He seriously considered just staying in bed. While he hoped that the boys hadn’t been paying too much attention to the doctor’s last words, it was unlikely. He knew he was going to have to face them. Even if they didn’t want to talk about that, they’d still want to know what had gone down in the doctor’s office. That was something he was completely not ready to talk about.

With a sigh he pulled himself out of the bed. It was no use avoiding his packmates, they would only get annoyed. He just needed to convince them that the suppressants were a lie, or if they had found out he could probably sneak off and buy more. The easiest way to do this would be to act innocent, and ditching group breakfast was sure to raise suspicion.

Before he knew it he was standing outside Niall’s room. Pushing down his anxiety he knocked on the door. Louis quickly opened it and let him in.

The silence in the room was oppressive. It was clear that they had just been talking about him. His gaze wandered and he was drawn to Liam’s fist. With a start he realized that it was bloody and bruised. Who the hell had Liam been fighting? 

“You should sit down,” said Harry, but his voice made it clear that this was not a request. So they knew about the suppressants then.

“Look, guys, I can explain-” he began, although in actuality he had no explanation he could give them. He was saved from making up a lie by Niall.

“Explain? Jesus Christ Zayn, how the fuck can you explain this? Suppressants?” the irish boy cried out. 

“It’s my body,” Zayn said sulkily. “It’s my choice.”

“And what? We’re supposed to sit here and watch you kill yourself slowly?” snapped Louis. “No, this isn’t your choice.”

“What do you know about it? Nothing! You have no right to-”

“We trusted you!” Liam roared, startling everyone. “We fucking trusted you and you did this! We have every right.”

Zayn looked around at his friends. He was not going to get out of this. “Fine. I’ll stop taking them. Happy?”

“You expect us to believe that? After everything?” asked Harry incredulously. “Yes, you’re going to stop taking them, but you’re also not going out of our sight anytime in the near future.”

“What? I’m not a child!” Zayn sneered, “You can’t babysit me.”

“We can and we will. This is not optional Zayn.” Liam said. “In fact, you better get used to not having a lot of say in things. It’s clear that we can’t expect you to look after yourself.”

Zayn’s angry sputtering was interrupted by a knock at the door. “Right on time,” muttered Niall. He stood and walked to the door, opening it to reveal a small redheaded beta. 

“Who’s this?” asked Zayn pissily. He hated being left out of the loop. The woman made her way over to the group.

“I’m Dr. Martin, and I hear that one of you needs an examination.”

“No!” yelled Zayn, looking around furiously at his bandmates, “I am not having a fucking examination!”

“Yes you are,” said Liam sternly, “and we will be staying in the room.”  
“Don’t you think for even one second that I’m gonna get my kip off in front of you lot. There is no way in hell!” shouted Zayn, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. While the boys had all seen him undressed at one point or another, it was different being examined. He’d be so vulnerable, so exposed. He barely suppressed a shudder.

“Zayn,” soothed Dr. Martin, “you don’t need to get undressed.”

“What?”

“I’m just going to take your vitals and take some blood. I’ll also require you to answer some questions about your heat and suppressant use. You will be hooked up to a lie detector for them. Then I’ll be able to figure out what your current health is like.”

“I, uh, well,” Zayn was stumped, there was really no way he was going to get out of this. “Fine.”

“Okay! Let’s get started then,” she said, pulling out a syringe. “I’m going to take a blood sample first, that way my device can analyze it while you answer the questions.” She quickly tapped into a vein and filled up her needle. All too soon Zayn had a cuff wrapped around his arm: part of the lie detector device. “Okay, so the way this works is that the cuff measures your heart beat and blood pressure and all that jazz, it interprets the results with each answer and tells us whether or not you’re lying. We need to start with some calibrating questions so please, could you state your full name?”

Zayn looked around at the boys pleadingly, hoping they call this off. No dice. “Zayn Javvad Malik.”

“What colour are your eyes?”

“Hazel.”

“Okay and what is your orientation?”

“Omega.”

“Well that’s all set then,” said Dr. Martin, “now for the not so nice bit. When was the last time you went through a heat?”

Zayn bit his lip, glancing over at the boys who were all clearly dying to know the answer. “I, um,” he nervously cleared his throat. “Um, a bit over four years I guess.” 

He heard a gasp from one of his pack mates but refused to look over. He could only imagine how angry they were.

“Okay, and you’ve been on the same suppressant the whole time?”

“Well, no. I started off on Trazex, but once I started making so much money I switched to Protefolin.”

“Oh.” said Dr. Martin, a small frown on her face. “Were you aware how dangerous switching suppressants is?”

“Yes,” he replied meekly.

“What’s the difference between the two?” interrupted Louis. “I mean, why bother switching.”

“Trazex is a very cheap street suppressant. It basically just ensures that a person doesn’t go through heat by stretching it out over an extremely long length of time. The omega is pretty much in heat year round, but because it is so dispersed they barely feel it except for a heightened sensitivity,” explained the doctor. “Protefolin on the other hand. Well, it stops the heat all together. The omega experiences a dull empty feeling and depressed moods during their heat week, but does not produce slick or feel arousal. As well, it is more difficult for the omega to get aroused in general. Their scent becomes more muted and they can be mistaken for a beta from afar. It is very expensive and can do a lot more damage.” At this sentence she gave Zayn a stern look.

“Why would you do this?” asked Niall. Zayn just stared at the floor.

Dr. Martin cleared her throat, “We should continue. How often do you produce slick?”

“Maybe once every few months.”

“When was the last time you mated with an alpha?”

Zayn gulped. He didn’t want to answer, didn’t want the implications that would come with it. “It’s been a while,” he hedged.

“How long?”

He glared at the doctor, suddenly feeling a blinding rage creep through his body. He was furious. Furious at his friends, furious at this situation, furious at the woman sitting in front of him, but mostly, furious with himself. This was his fault. If he had been stronger, smarter-

He shook himself. He couldn’t think about that now, not with the others watching him so closely. “It’s been a little over four years.”

“Oh Zayn,” he heard Harry say. 

The doctor looked at him with pity. He glared back. “Okay,” she said. “Well, your blood is done being analyzed and that was all the questions…”

“And?”

The beta sighed. “You’ve done a lot of damage to your body. Nothing permanent, or at least, it doesn’t appear to be, but all the same. Your heat is going to be hard and…” she trailed off.

“And what?” he demanded.

“And you’re going to need to mate with an alpha for it.”

“What?!” Zayn screeched. “Why can’t I just go through it?”

“Because your body has been deprived of the right hormones for too long! If you don’t mate you will most likely die. Your body will fail.”

“I’d rather die,” he hissed. 

“Zayn!” Liam cried out.

He turned to glare at the alpha and was stopped short. Liam was crying, in fact, they were all crying. It wasn’t fair, that they would cry when it was him who had been hurt. He put his head in his hands.

“I’ll see myself out,” said Dr. Martin quietly. A few seconds later he heard the sound of the door latching shut, sealing his fate.


	6. Chapter 6

“Zayn,” said Harry, and god, he sounded absolutely broken. “Zayn, you need to talk to us. You can’t shut us out anymore. Please.”

Zayn stared at the spot that Dr. Martin had been sitting in just moments prior. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“So what? We’re supposed to pretend like nothing happened?” snarled Louis. “We’re supposed to act like you’re fine? And what about when your heat comes? What then? Are we supposed to watch you die?”

“Jesus fuck!” Zayn snapped, standing to his feet. “I’m not going to die! Can you please stop being so melodramatic?”

“You heard what she said,” Niall said, “You need an alpha. Zayn, we’re here. I speak for all of us when I say that we would be more than willing to help you, but you need to help yourself first. Tell us what happened.”

“Nothing happened.”

“You can’t just pretend! Christ Zayn, do you think you’ll magically be okay when your heat rolls around?” demanded Liam.

“Of course not! I will deal, just like I’ve dealt my entire life,” he shouted, “and that’s that.”

“And what about us? What about our pack? You expect us to just force you to mate? What about how we feel? You may be fine with that but I know that I sure as hell am not. I’m not going to sit around acting like we don’t all know that you don’t want this!” Liam yelled back.

“It’s not about you! Why do you give a shit? It doesn’t affect you whether or not I-”

“I’m not going to be your fucking rapist!” screamed Liam, his face red with anger and frustration. The room dropped into silence. Zayn was pale as a ghost, and in the back of his mind he realized that he was trembling.

“I- I- I need some air,” he mumbled, turning and bolting from the room. He barely made it back to his room before he was on the ground heaving. Liam’s words echoed in his mind. It wasn’t like that, he tried to tell himself. It wasn’t rape.

Zayn lay on the ground, naked. It lurked behind him, kneeling between his legs. “Look at you, look how much you want it.” It said, running a finger through his slick. “You’re begging for it.” He shivered, and attempted feebly to get away. It held him down and pushed inside, and Zayn came without warning. “You love it.”

It wasn’t.

\---

The next few days passed with a thick tension hanging in the air. Zayn had made it clear (via text) that he was going to spend his heat with the boys and needed them to help him through it. Liam had quickly shot back that he and the boys would not be part of something that was going to hurt Zayn. This had resulted in another screaming match, this time aboard the bus, which had resulted in Liam angrily retracting his statement. Thus, it had been decided that the whole pack would in fact be mating Zayn during his heat, even though none of them were happy about it. Liam had pointedly ignored the omega since.

Harry cornered the pack leader after one of their concerts. “You need to stop this.” Liam opened his mouth to interject but Harry stopped him. “No, Liam. I know this is hard for you, I get it. It’s hard for all of us, but it’s hardest for Zayn. He needs us. He’s alone and he’s afraid and he needs our help if he’s ever going to be at all ready for his heat. You’re the pack leader! Fucking lead.”

Liam hackles raised at the tone his alpha friend had taken with him. As the pack leader his every instinct screamed to punish Harry, force him to submit and show respect. At the same time, he knew the younger lad was right. He settled for shoving his way past his friend.

\---

After a lot of angsting Liam had come to the conclusion that he really did need to listen to Harry. He called a band meeting, sans Zayn and explained his course of action. The boys all agreed, this was the best plan they had. They started the next day.

Zayn was already lounging on a couch in the bus when Liam walked in. “Hey,” he said softly to the Bradford boy. Zayn looked up in surprise.

“Hey,” he said briskly, determined not to let go of his anger so quickly.

Liam nodded and then reached down and began to take off his clothes. “Woah woah woah, Liam what the fuck are you doing?” In the time it had taken Zayn to say this Liam had stripped completely naked, and wow, Zayn had seen his dick before but not like this. Everything was completely on display. He felt a bit queasy.  
“Zayn, even if you don’t want to talk about it, something happened to you. We’re going to be mating soon. I don’t expect you to suddenly be okay with it the day of.”

“Okay, but that still doesn’t explain why you’re naked.” Zayn said slowly, as if he was talking to a five year old. “Maybe you could just put your clothes back on and-”

“No. You’re going to have to get used to seeing us naked. We want you to be as comfortable as possible during your heat, and that means you’re going to have to be okay with our naked bodies.”

“What about now? I’m not comfortable now!”

“I know,” said Liam gently, “but there’s no pressure here. This isn’t sexual. You’re safe right now, you’re not weakened or vulnerable. If you get used to this now you’ll do a lot better when we’re actually mating. We’re not asking you to get naked.” His face softened. “I know you don’t like this Zayn, but please, I’m need you to trust me for once.”

Zayn stared at Liam, pointedly ignoring his crotch which was unfortunately at eye level. The alpha was giving him insane puppy eyes. “Ugh fine, but are you seriously not going to put some pants on?”

“Nope,” said Liam, flopping down on the couch beside him and stretching out his legs. “Get used to seeing a lot of balls and ass.”

“Jesus christ.”

\---

Unfortunately, Liam was kidding when he said Zayn should get used to it. In the following week he had seen far more of his band mates than he ever expected to. It was particularly weird when one of the alphas would get touchy with Louis. Things got heated quickly when there was no clothes involved. To Zayn’s surprise he seemed to be the only person uncomfortable with the whole situation. Whenever the boys were behind closed doors they would strip down in record time.

He had gotten to the point where he could mostly ignore it, opting to look anywhere but their nether regions. Sadly, Louis caught on to this and called him out on it. “Zayn, the whole point of this is to make you more comfortable. That’s not going to happen if you just pretend nothing’s happening.”

“I’m not going to just stare at your junk every time I see you!” he spluttered.

“Of course not, but you’re making a huge effort not to look anywhere but our faces right now. It’s a little unnerving.”

Groaning, Zayn rubbed his face. “Can’t we just forget about this whole plan?”

“Nope,” drawled Louis, and then he flung himself on top of Zayn.

“Gahh! What are you doing?”

“I’m cuddling you obviously,” said Louis primly.

“You’re naked though!”

Louis just smirked at Zayn’s embarrassment and then squirmed closer. “Get used to it,” he said, “being naked all the time makes me really cold. I need your body heat.”

“Why is this my life?”

\---

Niall crawled into Zayn’s bunk that night. He sighed and shifted over, making room for the irish lad to lie beside him. “What’s up Nialler?”

“When I was fourteen, before I presented, people used to shove me around a lot,” his friend began. “I tried to ignore them but they were always there, hitting me and yelling at me and putting me down. It got to the point where I was afraid to go to school, because I knew they would be there. I avoided anything that reminded me of them. But, Zayn, I couldn’t do that forever. They graduated and left town but I wasn’t okay. I couldn’t keep pretending nothing had happened. Eventually, I told my older brother about it, and it was really hard but in the end it helped. It didn’t change what happened, but it changed how I felt about it. I know you’re not ready to talk yet, but whenever you are we’re here for you.” He gently reached up and stroked Zayn’s face. “We’re here for you. Always.”

Niall slipped out of the bed, leaving Zayn to his thoughts.

\---

Two days later found him on the bus with his pack. They were laying together watching Lord of the Rings, although none of them were really paying attention. Zayn felt like he was going to throw up, he was so nervous. He had intended to give them a piece of information about his past hours ago, but he kept stalling. His stomach was in knots. He sucked in a breath through clenched teeth. “His name was Tom,” he said, and the room fell silent. His breath hitched, “and he wasn’t a very nice person.” Tears welled up in his eyes and he took a shuddering breath as he tried to calm down.

“Shh,” soothed Liam, pulling the boy into his arms. “Shh, he’s not here anymore. We’ve got you.”

Zayn fell apart in his arms.

\---

So it went, each day he tried to say at least one thing about it, to at least one of the boys. He knew they talked about it together when he wasn’t around so no one was out of the loop. As they were getting ready for a concert he said, “He was 15 years older than me.”

When they sat down for breakfast: “I was being tutored by him.”

In the middle of a video game: “It was my first heat.”

It was hard every time, but he felt a little lighter with each secret he gave up. He still hadn’t told them the hard bits, he avoided answering any of their probing questions, but it was better than nothing.

All the while, the boys attempted to get him more and more comfortable with the idea of his oncoming heat.

By week three they had hit a plateau. Zayn didn’t have any more secrets he was willing to share, and he hardly cared anymore about his pack’s nudity. Still, they all knew he wasn’t ready.

It was Harry who brought it up. They sat him down at the hotel and he could tell shit was about to get serious. “Zayn, we want to get off in front of you.”

“What?” He yelped, “Guys come on! That’s kinda crossing some lines.”

“And mating won’t?” asked Louis, arching his eyebrow. “You’re used to seeing us naked now, but what about when we’re turned on. We want you to be prepared for everything that’s going to happen.”

Zayn felt anxiety rising in his chest. What if things got out of hand? What if one of the alphas got too turned on while jerking off and couldn’t stop himself? “Guys,” he said weakly, “Please can we not?”

Niall moved over and sat beside the trembling omega. “Zayn, we know you’re scared, but we need to do this. Will take it in turns at first, okay? If you want you can be alone with one of us, or we can all stay, but this needs to happen.”

He looked around at the earnest faces of his friends, swallowing down the lump in his throat. “Okay,” he murmured, “okay but you all have to stay.”

“We can do that,” reassured Niall. Harry reached down and began to stroke himself. How had Zayn gotten himself into this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops left you guys high and dry without any smut #sorrynotsorry. Don't worry, you'll get your fill eventually :)


	7. Chapter 7

The boys (asides from Zayn) were all naked already, so there was nothing stopping Harry from getting to the main event. Predictably, he still took his time. Zayn watched as Harry’s hand traveled across the planes of his stomach, gently stroking the skin there, before resting on his cock. Slowly he began to move his hand up and down his erection. He pulled his lips in between his teeth in an attempt to be quiet. Precome pooled on the head as his large hands tugged at his equally large dick. He moved one hand down to tug at his balls.

Zayn gazed around at his band mates. Niall and Louis were transfixed by Harry’s ministrations, but Liam, Liam was looking right at him. He felt a bolt of arousal go through his body and before he knew it he was standing up. “I can’t do this,” he stammered, turning and walking quickly into the bathroom. Inside he sat down on the floor and put his head in his hands. He was such a freak. What little interest his dick had felt was gone now, and he only felt ashamed of himself. He heard a knock at the door. “Zayn,” Liam said, his voice muffled, “Zayn please let us come in.”

He resolutely ignored the alpha and instead got up to take a shower. He felt filthy.

\---

Liam sighed when he heard the water turn on, knowing that there was no way Zayn was coming out anytime soon. He walked back to where the other boys were still sitting around the bed. Harry wasn’t hard anymore, Zayn’s reaction and the reason behind it had caused his erection to wilt. Niall ran a hand through his hair. “I just don’t know what to do,” the irish boy said. “I don’t know to help him.”

“He freaks out when he gets turned on…” said Louis, as if he was trying to piece something together.

“Yeah we kind of figured that one out Lou,” snapped Harry irritably.

“No, no, I know we all know that. I just, like, how does he ever get off then?” he asked. “We’ve been avoiding pushing him guys, but we need to have an actual sit down with him. We need to help him understand that its okay to feel like this.”

“We’ve tried that before though!” Liam exclaimed, “It never ends well.”

“So maybe we try something different. We get him a wee bit turned on and he’ll freak out but we don’t let it go too far. Letting him run away from it like this only makes things worse.”

“What? You’re suggesting we just force him to get off with us? That sounds just a little bit like something that would traumatize him!” said Niall.

“No, not get off, just sit it out. He doesn’t have to do anything about it, we don’t have to do anything about it. We just all need to acknowledge that it’s happening and reassure him that it’s okay. If things do turn a bit more, like, racy, that’s okay, but it’s not the main goal.”

“That actually… might work,” said Liam. “I mean, you’re right, we need him to be comfortable with himself first.”

“So its settled, tomorrow morning operation Turn Zayn On is a go.”

\---

The boys were being awfully handsy with Zayn. He was starting to feel a little weirded out. He was used to being cuddled, after all that was kind of a trademark for the band, but now like this. Louis had unceremoniously plopped himself down in Zayn’s lap at breakfast, and Harry had sidled up beside him when he was watching a movie. Being on the bus made it hard enough as is to get privacy, but the boys weren’t letting him have any space at all.

“I’m going to take a nap,” he announced to the room at large. He was halfway back to the bunks when he realized Niall was following him. “Can I help you?”

“What? You too good to cuddle with me?” asked Niall with mock indignation.

Zayn sighed and rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” He hopped up into his bunk. Niall followed, cuddling up close to the smaller boy without a moment of hesitation. He wound up spooning Zayn, and quickly took advantage of that. He pressed his front along the omega’s back and slung an arm around his waist. It was natural for an unmated omega to become aroused in a situation like this, where they felt fully protected and guarded from outsiders. Niall knew that Zayn’s body wouldn’t be able to resist the feel of an alpha.

Zayn tensed when he felt Niall scoot closer, wondering what the other boy was playing at. Fortunately the boys had given up their crusade to always be naked around Zayn, otherwise things would be really awkward. He tried to squirm away but found himself trapped by the alpha’s arms, and wow, okay, that was not something he should be thinking about if he wanted to remain unaffected. He tried desperately to think of something besides the feel of Niall’s hips pressed tight against his butt. He was doing a decent job when he suddenly became aware of Niall smelling his neck. Oh god, he was scenting him. Zayn let out an involuntary shudder, and felt his hole twitch. “Okay Nialler, that’s enough cuddling,” he said, attempting to pull loose from the boy’s hold. He was shocked to find that he couldn’t budge.

“No,” said Niall plainly. Zayn felt his heart race, what did Niall mean by no? What if the alpha could smell his arousal? What if he thought Zayn wanted- “Zayn, calm down. I’m not going to do anything, but I’m also not going to let you run off.”

“Niall let go of me!”

“No, Zayn it’s not healthy getting this upset because you’re turned on,” Zayn felt his body flush with shame at the mention or his arousal. “See! That’s what I mean! There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“Niall, please!”

“No. We’re going to lie here until you come to terms with it.” Niall’s authoritative tone only served as a reminder of why Zayn was turned on in the first place. His dick twitched violently and he felt his hole clench.

“Niall!” He cried, his face flushed red.

Niall didn’t respond, he only tightened his hold on Zayn and continued to smell his neck. Zayn felt like his skin was on fire. He hadn’t been touched like this since that day, so long ago. The points where Niall’s body met his sent shocks shooting down his spine to his hole and cock. His breathing was becoming a bit laboured.

“Zayn, you can take care of that if you want, I don’t mind. I won’t do anything.” Niall said, trying to sound reassuring.

Zayn could only shake his head. He felt like he might burst into tears at any second, he was so humiliated. Niall hummed from behind him, “Stop worrying,” he said to the omega. “It’s natural.”

Zayn squirmed desperately, but to no avail. He felt slick begin to leak from his hole. He knew that by now the other boys must be able to smell him, and sure enough he realized he could no longer hear any noise coming from outside his bunk. His cock throbbed incessantly. If he could just get out of the bunk he could jerk one out in the bathroom and preserve just a little bit of his dignity. He hole clenched particularly hard, searching for something to fill it. “Just let go,” Niall whispered. “It’s okay.”

The feel of warm breath against his ear was too much for Zayn’s touch starved body. With a whimper he reached down and grabbed his dick. He only meant to hold it, in an attempt to stop his arousal, but once his fingers closed around the shaft he couldn’t stop himself. He began to tug at it, using short, rough strokes that almost hurt. Niall’s hand fanned out on his belly, and he felt the familiar pull building in his gut. His hole was gushing now, begging to be filled, but he refused to stoop that low. He bit back his moan as he came, coating his hand and the insides of his sweat pants. “Good boy,” Niall murmured from behind him, and a part of Zayn lit up at the praise. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling as his eyelids grew heavy and he slipped asleep. “Good boy.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so here's a chapter. Wow. This was a bit overwhelming to return to. I know a lot of you have probably been wondering why I didn't update, so I'm just going to state it frankly. I have depression. I deal very well with my depression. I am normally on top of the ball when it comes to depression. However, I still have bad episodes from time to time, and right now is one of those times. I'm doing my best to work through it but for a while I decided it was probably best that I leave the story about rape and sexual abuse alone for a little while as I didn't want to trigger myself. I'm back now, and hopefully this means I'll be back to posting regularly and often but I don't make any great guarantees. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter (it's the longest I've written yet haha) and that you stick around to see this story through to the end. Love you all! xx

Zayn wasn’t smiling when he woke up. It appeared that Niall had cleaned him up during the night, which was a small relief. Still, it did little to quell the rising anxiety inside of him. He couldn’t believe that he had actually jerked off with his band mate. His face burned with embarrassment. He began to fidget, which only served to remind him of the fact that Niall was still in bed with him. A pang of fear shot through his heart as he felt the other boy’s morning wood rub against him. He struggled away, leaving the irish boy to snuggle up with the pillow instead. As quietly as he could he hopped down from his bunk. It appeared that his bandmates were asleep at the moment (which, truthfully, was shocking considering that Zayn was usually the last one to rise.) A quick peek out the window confirmed that it was still very early; Zayn could just make out the sun breaking the horizon.

He made his way to the cramped bathroom at the back of the bus and splashed some water on his face. The reality of the situation began to sink in and Zayn slid to the floor; he had done it. He had crossed the line. Zayn couldn’t remember the last time jerking off had been pleasurable, as opposed to just a chore he had to do, and yet last night had been… He shook his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts. After that fateful night so long ago he had figured that was it for him. Sex just wouldn’t be a thing that he did. It was simple. Last night had ruined that. With Niall he had felt… safe, almost. Perhaps cared for was a better word. He had actually given up some of his control, and nothing too terrible had happened. Zayn didn’t know what to make of it all.   
  
He took a few deep breaths and got to his feet. Nervously, he peeked out of the bathroom, but the boys were still sound asleep. He made his way to lounge area.

As the bus rocked beneath him he pulled out his laptop. His eyes darted around the room just to be sure he was alone. When he was certain he was, he typed it into the Google search bar.   
  
The results were instantaneous. It had been a huge case in Bradford, way back in 2009. Of course, only his family and the police had known that it was Zayn who was the omega involved. His age and orientation had convinced the police to keep the name of the victim under wraps. He stared down at the links in front of him: “Omega brutally raped; was assaulted for years,” “Horrifying new evidence revealed to the public,” “34-year old alpha arrested in now infamous rape case.” They continued on and on down the page. Chewing his lip, Zayn clicked on the first one.

  
He couldn’t stop a small gasp from escaping him when the page loaded, revealing a photo of Tom. It was the first time he had seen him since the trial. He pulled in a deep breath and scrolled down.

 

              _“BRADFORD - 34-year old Thomas Richards was found guilty today of multiple charges of rape and sexaul assault. He left the courthouse with an armored detail, due to multiple threats on his life. While the victim of Richards attacks remains nameless, it has been that they are male and of omega orientation. We urge the public not to further pursue the identity of this individual, out of respect._

  
 _Suspicions were first raised surround Richards when his victim did not return home one day after “going to a friend’s.” The alarmed parents contacted the authorities but their son was found before an alert could be raised. He was picked up by the police, who noted that he seemed to be suffering from severe injuries to the rectum. Upon closer inspection at a local hospital it became clear that an assault had taken place…”_

  
The article continued on, going into great deal on Richards capture and subsequent trial. Zayn scrubbed a hand across his face. He knew he had to come clean and tell the boys, but he just wasn’t ready. The idea of talking about it made his stomach flip. The trial had been bad enough, where he had to testify in front his parents. Thankfully, his sisters hadn’t been allowed to attend. He can still remember his mother’s tearful face as he mechanically recited the things Tom had made him do. He didn’t know if he could handle that again from the boys.

On the other hand, he didn’t know if he could handle staying silent. While he was sure his pack mates could make plenty of inferences about what had happened to him, they would never be okay without having the full story. That idea that they might go search it up on Google themselves some day, and find out like that, was terribly frightening. As well, a part of Zayn knew that he wasn’t doing so hot going it alone. After everything went down his parents begged him to see a psychologist, but to no avail. Eventually he managed to convince them that he was fine. He requested that he be allowed to stay at a hotel during his heats, and had a friend cover for him and say that they would help him through it. As soon as he could he began taking suppressants and his family was none the wiser. He signed up for x-factor the following year in the hopes that he could escape. His parents were overbearing and suffocating. Logically, he could understand why, but that didn’t make it any better. When he was placed in the band his mother had been so relieved, especially as time went on and they got closer. The day he revealed that they were a pack she and his father had cried their hearts out. They would be so distraught if they found out what was really going on. Zayn had no way of knowing if the boys might become desperate enough to bring his family into this, and he wasn’t eager to find out. He had to come clean soon.

“Zayn?” he heard a voice croak from the doorway to the lounge area. With a squeak he slammed his laptop shut.

“Louis! What are you doing up?”  
  
“I could ask you the same question,” the boy replied, rubbing his eyes tiredly. “Although it’s clear you wouldn’t answer me, given how quickly you closed that laptop.”

Zayn flushed, “Look, it’s just…”  
  
“It’s okay, babe.” Louis said as he sank down into the couch beside Zayn. “Wanna cuddle and watch disney movies?”  
  
In response Zayn just wriggled closer.

xxx

The bus was quiet that day. The boys lay around, watching movies and standing up occasionally to grab snacks. No one mentioned Zayn’s incident with Niall last night, although the irish lad did give him a warm smile and a squeeze on the shoulders when he got up. Despite the progress Zayn had made he could tell that his secret was still weighing heavily on everyone’s mind.

Zayn had a checkup with a doctor once they arrived at their venue for the night. Liam accompanied him, as he was still very much grounded by his pack. The doctor (who was female, as per his request) gave him a polite smile when he slipped into the back room of the concert hall where she had set up shot. She had been specifically flown out from Miami as she was a leading specialist in omega health. “Hi Zayn, my name is Margaret Wiress,” she said, extending a hand for him to shake. “I see you’ve brought a friend?”  
  
“I’m Liam,” said the alpha, “Zayn’s pack leader.” He shook the doctor’s hand as well.

“Well, both of you, make yourself at home. I want you to be as comfortable as possible for the exam.”  
  
Zayn arched an eyebrow, “Exam? I thought we were just doing a quick blood test. That’s what I did with the other doctor.”  
  
Margaret smiled reassuringly at him, “With you having just been taken off your suppressants there wasn’t much that could be done except a blood test. Now that you’ve been off them a few weeks we can do a proper examination, just to make sure you’re recovering as expected.”  
  
Zayn stiffened, “What exactly do you mean by a ‘proper examination?’”

The doctor consulted her notes. “Well, I will need to analyze how your body reacts to stimuli in accordance with your omega genetics. Usually this requires a prostate exam, as well an examination of how much slick you produce when aroused. I’ll also need to check your rectum for potential damage caused by the extended suppressant use.”  
  
His breath caught his throat and his cheeks flushed red. “I-”  
  
Liam cut him off. “I know you don’t want to do this Zayn, but we need to make sure you’re healthy. Please.”  
  
He looked down at his feet. “Can you please just go Liam? I don’t want you in here for this.”  
  
Liam shook his head, “I’m staying here. If you want I can face away, but I’m not leaving you alone with a stranger anytime soon, no offense ma’am.”  
  
“None taken,” Margaret said easily. “Zayn, it would probably be a lot easier with an alpha you trust helping you through this exam anyways. Your body is more likely to respond appropriately.”  
  
“Just… just face away, yeah?”  
  
“Whatever you want Zayn,” said Liam easily, turning to face the wall.

“If you could just change into this gown, Zayn.” Margaret said. “There’s a privacy curtain in the corner if you would like.”  
  
Zayn awkwardly took the garment and shuffled over to the curtain. Once behind it he took a few deep breaths, willing his heart to stop racing. He could do this. With fumbling hands he removed his clothes and slipped on the robe. He ran his hands through his hair a few times, attempting to calm down. “Are you ready Zayn?” called the doctor.

“Yeah..” he said softly, stepping out.

“Okay so first thing’s first, I’m going to take a blood sample,” she said while sticking a needle into his arm. “Then, I’ll inspect your rectum, then the prostate exam. You will almost certainly get aroused during the prostate exam and begin to produce slick, and that’s totally normal. If at any time you feel uncomfortable you can tell me to stop and I will, but we do need to get this exam done today.”  
  
“Okay,” he murmured, staring resolutely at the back of Liam’s head.

“If you could just lay back now.” He did as he was told, laying down on the counter/bed thing. “Okay, now feet in the stirrups.”  
  
He felt more blood rush to his face, and the inexplicable urge to cry. He couldn’t do this, he couldn’t!

“Zayn, you’re going to be okay,” said Liam softly. He snapped his eyes over to the alpha, who was still facing away. “Don’t you know it’s gonna be alright,” he crooned lowly. “Alright, alright.” Zayn felt himself relax slightly as Liam sang.

“Okay,” he said, “okay I can do this.”  
  
Margaret smiled encouragingly and helped him lift his feet. “I’m going to examine you now,” she warned, before dropping out Zayn’s line of sight. With a start he felt her pull apart his cheeks. He clenched his fists and tried to focus on Liam’s voice. Of course there was no way to truly ignore the invasive hands, but at least he had a small distraction. He was suddenly grateful that Liam hadn’t left. After a minute or so Margaret pulled back. “Now I’ll do a prostate exam.”  
She leaned over and picked up a small bottle of lube. “This will be cold,” she said, squirting some on her fingers. “During normal mating lube is usually unnecessary for an omega, but given that you are not aroused and haven’t been through a mating in so long, I’d rather be safe than sorry.”  
  
Zayn flushed in shame at the reminder of why he was here. He was defective. Blinking back the sudden tears that had sprung to his eyes he once again turned his attention to Liam. All too soon a finger was circling his entrance. He sucked in a breath as she breached him. His stomach rolled in disgust. “Calm down, I need you to relax.”  
  
Liam began to sing slightly louder. “Pay attention to me, babe,” he said. “Focus on my voice.”

Huffing out a breath Zayn tried to calm himself. Slowly, his muscles untensed, and the doctor’s finger slipped fully inside of him. He continued to ignore her ministrations until- “Oh,” he gasped as she rubbed up against what he assumed was his prostate. His dick twitched.

She continued to apply pressure to the small spot inside of him, alternating between tapping at it and rubbing back and forth. All too soon he was fully hard. He couldn’t stop the small noises that kept escaping his mouth, each one making him turn a darker shade of red. Liam’s voice sounded a little strained.

His hole was leaking quite a bit now, the mixture of lube and slick running down his thighs. Pretty soon he was arching back into the doctor’s touches. “I can’t- It’s-” he gasped.

“It’s okay, this is a natural response Zayn,” said Margaret. “I’m going to stop now.” She abruptly withdrew her fingers.

Zayn sucked in a few deep lungfuls of air, trying to regain his thoughts. His mind felt fuzzy. Gradually, he came back to himself. His cock throbbed against his stomach, none too happy at being left high and dry. “Are we done?” he croaked.

Margaret nodded, “You can change back into your clothes.”  
  
Stiffly, he walked back behind the privacy curtain. When he was decent he stepped out again. “So I’m healthy?”

Liam was no longer facing the wall, instead leaning against it and staring at the doctor. “Why don’t you both take a seat and we can talk,” she said.

Zayn felt his stomach sink at the words. “No, no!” She said quickly, seeing the look on his face, “You are healthy. I just want to go over what I found.”  
  
Nodding he walked over and dropped down into the chair besides Liam. “Okay, so Zayn, you’re responses were very promising. The blood work shows that your body is responding well to the lack of suppressants, and your reaction to prostate stimulation was exactly what I was looking for.”  
  
“Why do I get the feeling that there’s a but here?” Asked Liam unhappily.

“Well, it’s not a huge concern… It’s just…” she looked as though she was struggling to find the right words.  
  
“Just say it,” he snapped.  
  
“You had very severe scarring on your rectal walls. The trauma that is indicated by that amount of damage… well, it makes me uncertain as to whether or not you could ever bear children.”  
  
Zayn felt like he had been punched in the gut. It wasn’t that he particularly wanted kids, but at the same time, he wanted the choice. The idea that he might never be able to have them…

Liam’s hand clapped down on his shoulder. “Hey, hey, Zayn look at me. It’s okay, we’ll get through it. You’re okay.”  
  
Margaret jumped in, “I’m not certain! I just would recommend getting looked at my a fertility doctor when you come to that time in your life.” Zayn just nodded grimly in response.

xxx

He waited until they were backstage to flip out. He had lulled Liam into a fall sense of security, the alpha had assumed he was just sad. Zayn was furious. Furious with himself, with Tom, with the whole fucking situation. With a roar he threw himself at the wall, driving his fist into it. “Fuck!”

“Zayn!” cried Liam, clearly startled. He reached for the smaller boy, only to be beaten away. A steady stream of expletives was pouring from Zayn’s mouth as he wreaked havoc on the surrounding area. The other boys rushed to the scene.  
  
“Zayn stop it!” shouted Harry, but to no avail. Realizing that the omega wasn’t slowing down anytime soon he rushed forward, grabbing onto him. This only served for Zayn to redirect his beating to Harry. Tears were streaming down his face as he attempted to punch the younger boy. “Zayn, Zayn, calm down! Calm down. Shh.”  
  
Eventually Zayn ceased fighting, his chest heaving with exertion. “Shh, shhh,” said Harry, gently lowering the two of them to the floor. “You’re okay.” He cradled the boy in his arms. “You’re okay.”  
  
Zayn continued to sob, falling apart in his friend's arms.


	9. Chapter 9

To say the concert that night was rough would be a bit of an understatement. After Zayn had calmed down the situation was explained to the boys, and they all had another cry over it. The thought that Zayn might not be able to have children weighed heavily on their minds, as well as the reason behind it. Niall had attempted to get the truth from Zayn, but had only received a terse, “I can’t right now.” They were all off their game when they stepped out on stage.

For the most part Zayn spent the concert hanging back and trying to go unnoticed. Naturally, this was a bit difficult due to his status as a member of a world famous boyband, but he did try. Harry was especially loud in his interactions with the audience, as though by pouring all his stength into the show he could forget about what a mess their pack was. Louis was all over the place, trying desperately to please and call his alphas. Liam flitted back and forth from one boy to another, his pack leader instincts in overdrive, and Niall growled at anyone besides the band who so much as looked at Zayn for too long. It was a disaster, and they all knew the fans would question their behavior.

By the time they had finished their encores they were exhausted. Liam lead their ragtag group away from the crew, guiding them into one of the vacant dressing rooms. He turned to look at the Bradford boy. “Zayn, this has to stop.”

Zayn felt like he was going to burst into tears. He never wanted this, never wanted to screw up his pack so bad. His vision clouded, “I know. But-”

“No buts! Zayn we love you, we will always love you! Please!” exclaimed Harry.

Zayn rubbed a hand across his face. “Just,” he began, “just not here okay? Please can we just get back to the hotel first?”

“Okay,” said Liam, “we can do that.”

xx

The boys sat on Zayn’s king sized bed looking at him expectantly. “Whenever you’re ready Zayn,” said Niall softly.

“I-” he started, only to cut himself off. “It was- Um- I-” He blew out a big breath of air, running his hands through his hair. “I just don’t know where to start.”

“Wherever’s easiest for you babe,” said Louis encouragingly.

Nodding, Zayn began to pace back and forth in front of his pack. He took a few more big breaths before stopping abruptly, facing away. “Okay. Okay, I can do this.” He turned back to the boys.

“When I was young, I don’t know, maybe seven or eight, my mum put me in an art class. It was just supposed to get me out of the house, out of her hair, for a little while each day but I loved it. Every week I worked myself up waiting to get to that class. I was so into it.

“One day, a couple of months in, a man came in to talk to us. He was a pretty well known artist in Bradford, and it was a big deal that he was taking time out of his day to come chat with a bunch of kids. Anyway, he talked for a bit and then we went back to our art and he walked around the class and looked at our stuff. When he got to me he stopped and knelt down and he asked me my name. I told him and he said, “Zayn, this is some really amazing art. Can I talk to your parents?” I told him my mom would be there at the end of the class and he said he’d stay to meet her. Looking back on it, I really doubt it was my art that caught his eye. People always said I was cute as a kid.” Zayn laughed bitterly.

“My mom came to get me and he took her aside and they talked. My mom looked so happy when she came to get me. She leaned down and said, “Zayn, Mr. Richards would like to know if you wanted to do some private lessons with him. He said he’s willing to take you on and teach you some more about art.” I was ecstatic. Here I was, waiting every day til my next art lesson, and an actual artist was now willing to teach me? I could hardly believe my luck. Of course I said yes, and the next week I started seeing Tom Richards. We got together once a week at first, and then when that wasn't enough for me we went up to two days, then three, then four. A little over a year later and I was seeing him everyday after school for at least a few hours. That’s when things, well, that’s when everything went to shit.

“I went over to his house, same as usual, but things were different when I got there. He smelt wrong. He had been drinking, and when I came in he seemed mad. “Here again? God you’re practically begging for it,” he said. I didn't understand what he meant. I sat down at the little table he always had set up for me and started to draw. After a while he came and sat next to me.

“You’re so beautiful. Such a beautiful little boy to come to me,” he said and he started rubbing my back. I was uncomfortable, but I knew him. He was my friend.

“He didn't do much that day, but when I left he said, “You know these lessons are private, right Zayn? They’re special. You wouldn’t want them to stop right?” and I knew I wasn’t supposed to tell my parents about what he had done or said. I loved my art lessons. I loved Mr. Richards. I didn't want to cause trouble.

“When I was 10 years old I presented as omega. I saw Mr. Richards the next day, and I knew the moment I walked in that he could smell me. “An omega, hmm? I’m not surprised.” Two days later he,” Zayn’s breath hitched. “Two days later he raped me for the first time.”

He refused to look at the boys, not wanting to see their eyes filled with pity. He plowed on instead. “By the time I was 12 he had given up all pretense of being nice to me. He called me his little slut, and I believed him. He told me that no one would ever love me if they knew what was happening. I believed him. Everyday I went to his house and let him do whatever he wanted. He took photos and videos of me. He hit me, always where my clothes would hide it, always so that no one would know. He yelled at me, told me that I made him do everything. He said that I was too tempting.

“That continued for a long time. By the time I was 16 I spent most of my days at his house. It would only be worse if I avoided him. I was so, so, angry, all the time. I barely spoke to my parents.

“One day, he texted me telling me to come over. It wasn’t uncommon for him to do that, I basically was at his beck and call. I told my parent’s I was going to a friend’s house. When I didn’t return that night they got worried. They tried to call me, not knowing that he had broke my phone when I arrived. I got out of his house very early the next morning. That night had been particularly bad. He had been so drunk, he hadn’t been careful. A police car noticed me stumbling on the sidewalk and pulled over. When they smelt the blood they made me get in and took me to the hospital. It was then that my parents came, and that the whole truth came to light. The evidence was undeniable. He was arrested the next morning.

“I never told my parents the truth. While it was clear that stuff had been going on for awhile there was no real way for the doctor’s to know how long. I let them all believe it had only started that year. My parent’s wanted to have me committed. They kept talking about how scared they were for me, and that they thought I would do better if I was under someone else’s care. I refused. Eventually I was allowed to return home from the hospital.

“I testified at the trial. The jury put him away, 10 years. He cried when they gave the sentence. I did too.” He made eye contact with his packmates for the first time since he started talking. I started getting my heat shortly after he was put away. I got on suppressants as soon as I could. I couldn’t stand the idea of doing that for pleasure. A year later I auditioned for the x-factor.

"And that's that. I got a pack and we moved around so much that no one noticed I wasn't mating. It worked, and I was happy with it."

The boys were pale. Niall's mouth opened and closed a few times, as he searched for something to say. Liam's face was dark and stormy, but his eyes were sad. Harry had his head in his hands, and when he peeked up Zayn could see he was crying. Louis looked numb.

"It wasn't good though." Niall finally said.

"What?"

"It wasn't good for you, missing your heats. Even if it made you happy, it wasn't good."

"I don't believe you were happy." Louis declared. "There's no way."

Zayn shrugged and didn't make eye contact. "It was what I needed."

"Not anymore," said Harry firmly. "We're here now and we'll help. You don't need to hurt anymore."

"Please let us help." Liam pleaded. "Please."

Zayn sniffles, and rubbed roughly at his eyes. "Okay," he whispered.

Louis stood first. He walked to Zayn, keeping his posture open and giving the Bradford boy every opportunity to back out. He came to stop a few inches from Zayn. "Hi," he said, with a small smile on his face. Then, he leaned in and kissed him.  
Louis' lips were incredibly soft. Zayn closed his eyes as the kiss deepened. Louis nipped at his bottom lip, causing him to groan. His bandmate took his parted lips as an invitation, and eagerly slid his tongue inside. Zayn sucked on it, dragging a whine from the older boy. He felt the blood start to race in ears and brought up a hand between them. Firmly, he pushed his friend away. "Sorry, I-"

"Don't apologize Zayn," said Louis. "We go at your pace, and if that means just kisses for nights in row then that's shall we'll do."

"It's nice in theory Lou, but we all know how quickly my heat's approaching," he said with a wry smirk. "Thank you though."

Louis nodded, wincing at the truth in his friend's words."

"Come here," called Liam softly.

Zayn turned and did as he was told, walking over to his pack leader. Liam remained sitting on the bed, and reached up to cup Zayn's face in his huge hands. He craned his neck back, so he was looking right up at Zayn's form towering over him. The omega shivered at the display of intimacy and trust from his friend. He felt a bolt of arousal shoot through his body. He sunk down onto his knees in front of Liam. He took a few steadying breaths, then leaned forward and pressed his lips to the alpha's. Liam sighed at the contact, allowing Zayn to take control of the kiss. He explored his friend's mouth carefully, reveling in the feel of Liam's lips on him. After a few moments he broke away. A hand stroked his arm and he turned to see Niall kneeling on the floor beside him, having slid off the bed while he was distracted. He leaned in.

Niall cupped the back of his head, pushing their lips firmly together. He kissed Zayn tenderly, with smooth, steady pulls at his lips and tongue. His thumb rubbed circles into the back of Zayn's neck, massaging the skin their. His fingers twisted in the omega's hair. Zayn had to take a break to gasp for air as another wave of arousal washed over him. He noticed with a start that he was slick. In retrospect this wasn't shocking, the doctor had given awful blue balls earlier. His clenched hard, causing him to whine.

Someone lifted him off the floor. He opened his eyes to see that he was cradled in Harry's lap, his face tucked into the alpha's neck. Harry quickly closed the gap between their mouths, kissing him fiercely. Zayn moaned, his hole twitching rapidly. He broke away, tilting his head back to give Harry access to his neck. The younger boy leaned forward and latched on, sucking a love bite onto his jugular. He shuttered.

He became aware of the other boys, who had gathered around them on the bed. Somebody was running a hand up and down his back. Someone else was petting hair. He could hear Niall saying, "Zayn you're doing so well. Jesus, you're so beautiful. I wish you could see yourself. We're so proud of you..." etcetera etcetera.

With a start he realized that he was slowly grinding down onto Harry's lap. He grunted at the sight of their denim covered crotches rubbing together. He was into a rhythm when Richards face flashed across his kind. He shuddered, jerking on stop. Harry immediately let his hands drop from Zayn's hips, allowing the omega to pull back.

He took a few heaving breaths. "You're okay Zayn," Liam said. "We can stop if you want."

Zayn felt slick running down his legs and pooling in his jeans. He knew how heavy his scent was at the moment. He couldn't believe that they had all stopped. He felt an overwhelming wave of love sweep through him. "No," he said. "No, I trust you."

With that he turned to Niall, and kissed him. He resumed his grinding on Harry's lap. No longer preoccupied by making out with him, the younger boy put his attention into setting up a toe-curling pace for Zayn. Liam's broad hands continued to sweep over his body, and Louis focused his attention on destroying Zayn's neck. His orgasm came like a punch to the gut, and he bit down fiercely on Niall's neck. "Ah," he moaned. Harry rocked against him through aftermath, milking his cock.

"So good," said Niall gently. Zayn's eyes grew heavy. He slumped against Harry, panting. His slick was growing tacky on his thighs, and his pants were filthy. Liam picked him up and helped him slide out of his clothes. Harry washed him off with cloth while he leaned against his pack leader. Louis held out a hand and helped him onto the bed. He found himself situated in the middle of a dog pile.

"Thank you, Zayn," said Niall earnestly.

A small smile played off his face as he started to drift off. "Thank you too."


	10. Chapter 10

For the first time in weeks Zayn woke up feeling alright. He blearily looked around, and found himself lying amongst his pack. His felt a strange pinch in his heart when he realized that he was at the very middle. “Morning sleephead,” he heard from beside his head. He turned to see Liam smiling softly at him. The alpha slowly reached up and let his hand run down Zayn’s face. “Surprised you’re up so early.”  
  
“Hmpf, I couldn’t sleep because I was being weighed down by all of you idiots,” Zayn replied, but he kept his face loose and relaxed so that Liam knew he was joking.

“Well, unfortunately we can’t stay in bed forever. Want to help me get them up?” Liam asked mischievously.

Zayn smirked back, “I’ll get Louis, you get Harry and Niall.” They carefully slid out from under the covers. Zayn bit his lip to keep from laughing and leaned over Louis’ sleeping form.

“On three,” said Liam. “1, 2, 3!”  
  
They pounced, tickling their bandmates. Louis bolted upright with a screech, “No! Stop it Zayn!” he yelled between peals of laughter.

Harry who was very much not that ticklish, merely moaned slightly and stretched out like a cat in the sun. “Yeah, that’s the spot.”  
  
“You’re monsters, the lot of you,” groaned Niall, as he attempted to pull the covers back over his head.

“None of that Niall,” Zayn singsonged.   
  
“Yes boys, we have a very busy day ahead of us,” chimed in Liam, using his best Daddy Direction voice.

Zayn flopped on top of the irish boy. He felt like there was a big ball of energy just sitting in his chest, pushing up against his heart. He was almost… giddy. It was awesome. He snuggled closer to his friend, “Wake up Niall.”  
  
Niall opened his arms and pulled Zayn in for a cuddle. “But we could just lie here instead,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows. Zayn snickered and hit him in the arm, before deciding that the day could wait twenty minutes.

xx

The boys spent the first few hours of the morning doing interviews for various news stations. The segments they had to record were boring and repetitive, but it was easy work. Louis in particular was having a time of trying to say something more outlandish than the last in each interview. Zayn felt like he was on top of the world. It seemed crazy that the small step he and his packmates had taken last night could have such a drastic affect on their relationship. It seemed like every time Zayn started to doubt their new bond one of the boys was there to reassure him. By the time they poured back onto the bus they were in a fantastic mood.

“Okay, so it looks like we have a few more interviews to do from 5 - 9, but other than that the day is free.” Liam said, grinning. “Anyone up to get crushed at FIFA?”  
  
“You wish Payne,” said Louis, plopping himself down by the tv. “I’ll destroy you.”  
  
Harry rolled his eyes goodnaturedly, and spread out on the couch. Niall picked up a controller. “You gonna join us?” He asked, looking at Zayn.

“Nah mate, I think I’ll sit this one out with Harry,” he said, going to sit on the couch as well. The blond boy shrugged and turned to the tv. Zayn grinned at the sight of his packmates beginning to bicker over the game.   
  
“That’s cheap Louis!”  
  
“It is not! You’re just bad at this.”  
  
He felt his eyes drift shut, the voices of his friends lulling him to sleep.

xx

Zayn came back awake a few hours later. He was roused by a persistent tingling sensation under his skin. He groggily opened his eyes. Harry had at some point picked up a controller, and was now playing with the boys. They had all shifted closer, so that they were touching Louis, who was cheering loudly as his player ran down the field. Zayn shifted. He considered sitting up, but it seemed like it would take a lot of energy. Liam’s hand landed on Louis’ thigh, and he didn’t move it. Zayn noticed absentmindedly that his cock had taken an interest in his bandmates’ actions. He was sporting a semi. Frowning, he moved in an attempt to get up and oh- the couch felt really nice. He was so sensitive all of the sudden. His head felt kinda foggy, and without thinking about it he let out a groan.

The boys’ eyes snapped to him. “Zayn?” said Harry hesitantly.

“I feel weird,” he mumbled, struggling to move. He made eye contact with Louis, who turned bright red and ducked his head. Liam scented the air.

“Louis!” he growled. “You better start talking right now.”  
  
The eldest boys whined at his alpha’s tone. “I may have, um, forgotten to take me stabilizer.’  
  
Liam stared at him stonily, forcing him to continue. “...for, like, the past week.”  
  
Stabilizers worked essentially like birth control for male omegas. They allowed for the heat to come on a regular schedule once every two months, as opposed to sporadically. Zayn knew Louis wasn’t supposed to go into heat for at least two weeks.

“How could you do this? What about Zayn?” Liam said angrily. Omega pheromones were notorious for amping up the sex drive anyone around them, and could, in some cases, trigger another omega’s heat. Before he had come off suppressants Zayn had only ever had to fake these side effects, but now he was experiencing them first hand.

“I’m sorry,” whimpered Louis. “I just-” he broke off, staring down at the bus floor.

Zayn felt a pang of sympathy shoot through him. He couldn’t imagine how hard it must have been for Louis these past few weeks. He had gone from having all the attention of three alphas to being at the bottom of their priorities. Louis never dealt well when he felt ignored. It wasn’t shocking that he had acted out like this.

Liam ran a hand through his hair, softening at Louis’ plea. He was truly terrible when it came to staying angry with any of his boys. “Okay, well we’ll deal with it, but don’t think you’re not getting punished for this,” he said sternly. He turned to Zayn. “Babe, if you want us to we can leave you alone, but I really think it would be a good idea for you to see how we treat an omega’s heat. Now, I was hoping that you would join us in two weeks, when Louis’ heat was supposed to be, but clearly plans have changed.”  
  
“You don’t have to anything you don’t want to,” said Niall. “Please.”  
  
Zayn looked around at the faces of his band mates. He took a breath, he could do this. “Yeah,” he said softly. “Okay.”  
  
A small noise escape Louis, who was shifting uncomfortably where he sat on the floor. “But he’s the focus,” Zayn added. “Don’t like, ignore him because I’m there.”  
  
All the alphas looked shocked. “God, Zayn, we would never,” said Harry. “But trust me, there’s more than enough of us to handle the both of you.”  
  
Zayn blushed, but nodded.

“Okay, Niall, Harry, you go back with them. I have to make a few calls, cancel our afternoon and such. I’m also gonna get in touch with the doctor, and see what the likelihood of Zayn being triggered into heat by this is.”  
  
With that, Harry and Niall stood and helped the omegas to their feet. Well, Niall, helped Zayn to his feet. Harry just leant down and picked up Louis, causing the small boy to squeak. He tossed the omega over his shoulder - fireman style - and turned back to face Niall. From this angle Zayn could see how badly Louis was leaking. The entire seat of his light jeans was soaked. “How does he look?” asked Harry, smirking.

“Fucking amazing,” Niall replied, his voice low and husky. “Jesus, Lou.”

Louis groaned and rutted against Harry’s shoulder in response. They made their way to the back of the bus, where there was a large bedroom. Normally, this bedroom was merely the common ground for pack dogpiles, when they all wanted to feel a bit closer to eachother. Zayn had always questioned its purpose, but he was extremely grateful for it now. The bed was big enough to easily fit all of them. Zayn lay down on his side, a few feet from the other boys. The comforter felt amazing pressing along his skin, and his cock was now fully hard. Niall moved towards him. “No,” Zayn said, “I just want to watch for now.”  
  
The blonde alpha nodded, returning to where Louis lay. Harry had made quick work of their clothes, and was now pressing quick bites and kisses to Louis’s torso. The omega was babbling, an endless stream of “please” and “yes” and “more” falling from his lips. Harry moved, so that he was leaning over Louis’ face while he sucked on his neck.   
  
“The thing about Lou,” he said, looking up to meet Zayn’s eyes, “is that he likes to teased.” As Harry spoke Niall shoved up on Louis’ thighs and licked a stripe from his tailbone to the base of his balls.

“Uhnn!” Moaned Louis, his hips jerking off the bed. “Please.”

Niall eagerly began eating out the omega, despite the fact that he didn’t need the preparation. Zayn couldn’t see exactly what the irish boy was doing but damn, it must have been good, because Louis would not stop moaning. Harry reached down and viciously pinched the smaller boy’s nipples. Louis’ back arched up off the bed and he came, shuddering. Just as his cock stopped twitching Niall pushed in.

“He likes to be pushed. Likes when we test his limits,” said Niall, grunting as he slammed into the boy. He looked up into Zayn’s eyes. “He has a safeword.”  
  
Zayn grinned, as it clicked why the boys were telling him this. They were reassuring him. He felt a rush of fondness spread through him. Harry smiled, taking Zayn’s grin as encouragement. “He likes when we knot him like this,” he said, lifting Louis up so that he was sitting in Niall’s lap. Louis moaned, and came again.

Zayn heard the soft click of the door and turned to see Liam standing by the bed. “What’s he at?” the leader asked.

“Only two,” Harry replied.

“Oh Louis, you can do better than that can’t you,” Liam purred, sliding onto the bed behind the limp omega.

“Liam,” Louis whined, but he didn’t push him away as the alpha wrapped his hand around Louis’ prick. His whole body shuddered as Liam stroked him.  
  
“God,” Niall groaned, biting down on Louis’ shoulder. “You feel so good Lou.”  
  
Louis preened at the compliment, throwing his head back onto Liam’s shoulder. Zayn’s cock twitched violently. “Um, Harry,” he said, quietly. He half hoped that the younger boy wouldn’t hear him. The alpha turned his full attention to Zayn, raising his eyebrow questioningly. “Just, kiss me, yeah?”

“Of course,” he said, shuffling across the bed to him. Zayn felt his stomach twist a bit - Harry was, of course, very very naked - but he was surprised to find he didn’t feel the punch of fear normally associated with all things sex. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Harry took Zayn’s face in his giant hands, and slowly leaned in. He stopped, just millimeters away from the omega’s face. “You good?”  
  
Zayn felt like he was on fire. It was like every nerve ending in his body was directly linked to his cock at this point. He swallowed roughly. “Yeah,” he said breathily, “fuck, yeah I’m good.”  
  
Harry nodded and closed the gap between them. He sucked softly on Zayn’s bottom lip, earning him a groan. Harry took this opportunity to slip his tongue in the older boy’s mouth. In the background they could hear Louis’ broken cries as he came again. Zayn opened his eyes to see that the other omega was staring right at him, while seated on Liam’s dick. Without thinking about it he grabbed at his cock desperately, feeling it pulse at the sight in front of him. He broke off from the kiss, panting. Harry slid his mouth down onto Zayn’s neck, nipping at the skin and soothing it with his tongue. “Uhnn, fuck,” moaned Zayn, his hand moving rapidly up and down between the two of them.

“Let me,” murmured Harry in Zayn’s ear. He shuddered at the warm breath ghosting across his earlobe. “Please.”

Zayn looked up into Harry’s eyes. “Fuck, yeah, okay.”

Harry lewdly licked a stripe up his palm and batted Zayn’s hand away. He closed his palm around Zayn’s dick. “Jesus,” Zayn huffed out. No one had touched him since Tom. He forgot how amazing someone else’s hand could feel. Harry set a brutal pace, stroking up and down and twisting just a little to slide his thumb over Zayn’s slit each time. In no time the Bradford boy was panting. “Oh, Harry,” he bit out, his toes curling hard. “Harry, I’m gonna-” With a gasp his hips jerked forward on their own accord and he came. Harry held his prick through his orgasm, nursing the come out of him. When Zayn had finished, he looked up at the younger boy. To his dismay, Harry lifted his hand up to his own mouth and licked it clean. His dick twitched feebly at the sight.

“God you looked so good.” Niall said from off to the side. He was lying down on the bed next to Louis, who was fast asleep. Zayn blushed at the compliment. Liam slid over towards him, a flannel in his hand. Gently, he cleaned Zayn off, while Harry stood.

“I’m gonna go take care of this,” said Harry, grinning and gesturing towards his rock hard erection.

“Mhmm I think I can help you with that,” said Niall, wiggling his eyebrows ridiculously. Harry let out a burst of laughter and the two of them walked out of the room together. Meanwhile, Liam pulled Zayn towards him and Louis. He lay back on the bed and helped Zayn get under the covers, situating himself in between the two omegas.

“Is his heat really over already,” said Zayn confusedly.

Liam chuckled. “Not at all, he’s just really fucked out right now. Give it a few hours, he’ll be begging again. Serves him right,” he said, shaking his head fondly. “You okay?”

Zayn looked up from where he was cuddled up against the alpha. “I think I am,” he said, smiling gently.

Liam pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “I’m glad.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed so far! Sorry I haven't been replying to every comment, I want you all to know how much I appreciate your input. I simply did not expect this to get popular! Thanks so much for reading and check back often, I try to update quickly. (Also check back on these notes, I will continue to update them as I update the story.)


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